Yuku free message boards

Salem didn't look round when Raine spoke, embarrassment had him in its grasp and he couldn't face anyone let alone a Strife with it lingering in the pit of his stomach. She was right of course, Kal no doubt had regrets, lots of them and no matter what anyone said about him he was to be respected for bearing his cross the way he did, learning to deal with the burden of it all was something Salem had had trouble dealing and that alone made him envy the Corellian. He envied him more so because he had like Raine to defend him after all the atrocities he had unleashed upon the galaxy, after the millions he had killed there was still someone who cared enough for him to see past it. He thought of mentioning all the things Kal Strife had done to him, how so much of it was instigated by Strife and not himself how he'd been hunted by bounty hunters in droves until he was eventually caught and imprisoned...but no, how could he take away whatever image she had of....her brother. Perhaps the Force plucked that small piece of information from Raines mind or maybe it was the warmth of which she spoke of Kal, the awe in her voice...the love. That made up his mind, no, he wouldn't tell her, wouldn't even hint at it...not even he could take that feeling away from someone.

When she had left he went to the refresher and with the room empty and the door firmly locked he could stop the show and a very noticeable limp started and his face took on a picture of pain every time he put weight on his right ankle. It was a regular occurrence, every month or so it would give out. Maybe one of the several pins that held the damaged bone together had slipped again...
He began to undress, the refresher contained nothing bar a shower, sink with a mirror set above it and toilet all in a very dirty white colour. He pulled off his shirt and top and catching a look at himself in the mirror he noted the scars across his torso, of the stab wounds long since healed and thought to himself. "This is what your choices have made of you mate...."

Thirty minutes in the shower and then he was as clean as he had been in weeks but still he felt mentally and bodily drained. He sat on the edge of the bed and with a concentrated effort took his mind off the swirling mess of thoughts, pushing them down, deep down, and when his mind were empty he left the Force flow through him, slipped his mind into its currents allowing it to wash across his aching muscles and his tired mind and with deep slow breathing he had learned from the Jedi he let his body fall into a trance. This was the only rest he got these days and he felt that another few hours before he departed would be best spent getting his mind in some kind of order.